blue-d (:

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i feel so screwed. sigh. had auditions for syf today. was really bad. everything came out in a jumble. my tone was horrible. sounded really muffled. and i was perspiring profusely. literarily dripping. the rm was so hot and my anxiety and fear just made it worse. actually i noe the outcome. i can only hope for a miracle. i just dun wanna face up to it. as alicia says: delusion. i love delusion too. coz it masks up the truth. it makes things much more bearable. it cushions the impact of the HARSH REALITY.

as i continue to read hebrews 12. saw this:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline.
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

and

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

maybe i shd be like *ahem* (looks at kim)

must really thank wei for coming dwn in the midst of guitar to comfort me! and kim! eve too! and all those that showed their concern. really grateful... ((:

i was blue-d at 10:43 PM

GOLD

finally. a gold. in more than a decade. a pity i wasnt really part of it. but really happy for them. so proud of my jnrs! (:

i was blue-d at 10:39 PM

Friday, April 15, 2005

read this from somebody's blog... hope no copyright. hahas. but i find it very comforting. really feeling very low. spiritually drained. hmms...

hebrews 122005-04-13, 7:39 p.m.

therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
-hebrews 12:1-3

i was blue-d at 2:56 PM

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

my nose is blocked! if not, it'll be leaking. like a tap. yucksyucks. i hate having flu.

i seriously need to spend my time more effectively.
went for the talk at nj today. met eve and trin. hahas. eve looks different in her new(ok, not very new) haircut. din noe it was her till i went closer. hahas. and met lotsa snrs! everyone looks different i admit. hmms... i dun tink i'll be selected for the immersion prog lah. my chinese is chao lan. and i dun even speak a word of chinese for goodness sake. how to converse with the taiwan ppl? but it sounded really fun!

then went to crash hc. wasted my time lahh. coz kim was at srp. then hc was like so ulu. practically nobody there. so just went there listen to shuiying and then go back. and horrible 151. i flagged it dwn but it just sped past the bus stop. maybe i shd go write in... but then again i guess i will not in the end.

i was blue-d at 9:46 PM

a tempo xvi

esplanade is so cool! hahas. monday night was my first time performing at esplanade. ((: during rehearsals i looked up at the seats. wow... spectacular. hahas. its like the view of the audience is within my vision. but when you're the audience it seems that the stage is so far!!! and i really truly understood the phrase 'silence is deafening'. hmms... was elated to see elaine(chin). hhaas. hvnt seen her in a long time lahh. :)

i was blue-d at 1:10 PM

ahh... i have so much hw piling up! i seriously need a break from sch. a holiday! to catch up on my work... duno y but i seem to get stomach aches in sch every now and then. this is really bad. i must be scared of sch. no i tink i hate sch. hmms...

i was blue-d at 1:08 PM

Sunday, April 10, 2005

im sick

of all times why do i have to fall sick today?!
now i'll be sniffing the whole of tmr. i hope not though. sighs
this is bad.
how to play the trombone?!

according to kim, im suffering from extreme levels of stress.
too high for my body to take it.
no wonder im sick.
no wonder im so depressed.
im exhausted. i need a break.
else i'll really breakdown.
oh no i sound bad.
and im announcing it to the whole world.

i was blue-d at 9:32 PM